A book club has voted unanimously to discuss something other than the book, in a motion that carried in under ninety seconds.

Two members had finished the book. One had finished a different book by the same author and was permitted to speak on the grounds of effort.

“We opened with the themes,” said host Marguerite Vaile. “The themes lasted four minutes.”

The Institute for Voluntary Assembly reports that book clubs reach their true agenda at a median of eleven minutes and that the book functions as a permit rather than a subject.

“The book is what makes the gathering legitimate,” said Dr. Emeric Solvang. “It is the reason the calendar invitation could be sent. It is not the reason anyone came.”

Wednesday’s discussion covered a neighbour’s extension, a work situation requiring background, and a lengthy segment on whether the recipe had been followed correctly. It had not.

The club has selected its next title by the same method it always uses: someone mentioned one, nobody objected, and the matter was considered settled.

Nobody has written it down. Three members will read it. One will read the wrong one and, as tradition requires, will have the most to say.