A three-hour Sunday cooking session has produced six identical containers of chicken, rice and broccoli, to be consumed at a rate of one regret per day.

“Monday me is a genius,” said preparer Tess Havilland. “Monday me has solved lunch.”

Institute for Portioned Optimism data indicate the containers are consumed with enthusiasm on Monday, acceptance on Tuesday, and negotiation from Wednesday onward.

“By the fourth container, the subject is no longer eating a meal,” said Dr. Nadja Priestley. “The subject is honouring a commitment made by a stranger.”

Havilland reports that container four was eaten standing up, container five was supplemented with a considerable amount of hot sauce, and container six was moved to the back of the fridge, where it entered a protected status.

Institute records show 71 per cent of sixth containers are never eaten and never discarded, remaining in place until they achieve a form of tenure.

“It cannot be thrown away,” Priestley said. “Throwing it away would confirm the whole thing was a mistake, and the whole thing was not a mistake. The whole thing was Sunday.”

Havilland is prepping again this weekend. She is considering fish.